On Avoiding the Overclaiming Trap

1 Strategy + 1 Quote + 1 Question… 

…to help you and your team thrive

This Week’s Topic: Unconscious Overclaiming

1 Strategy 🎯 

A few years into my career I asked for a promotion.

I’d taken on additional responsibilities in the prior 12 months, and from my perspective I was contributing more to the team than many of my colleagues.

My manager listened as I made my case, and then politely rejected my request.

She then proceeded to walk me through the team's project list, giving me a breakdown of all the projects and initiatives my colleagues were working on. 

Turns out that most of my colleagues had responsibilities that I didn't even know about, and with this new information, I realized that not only did I not deserve a promotion, but I was probably being overpaid relative to some of my colleagues.

Looking back, I now see that I'd fallen into a trap. 

The Unconscious Overclaiming trap.

Unconscious Overclaiming is the psychological phenomenon that explains why we often overestimate our contributions or skills relative to those around us. 

It shows up everywhere.  

Studies show that when spouses estimated what percentage of housework they each perform, the percentages added up to 120%.  And when MBA students estimated how much they'd contributed to the success of a project, the total was 139%.

It makes a lot of sense. We’re fully aware and present for every single task we perform, but we're often unaware of what other people are doing day-to-day.

In the context of organizations, unconscious overclaiming might show up as statements like:

  • "Why am I always the one that has to….?"

  • "What does [department] do all day?"

  • "This place would fall apart without me"

To be clear, responsibilities are never perfectly distributed across individuals and teams. And disparities in effort should be addressed.

But our innate tendency to overestimate our contributions can be a breeding ground for resentment, making those calibration conversations more difficult.

Because as soon as we decide that a person or group isn't pulling their weight, we’re then primed to start noticing more and more examples that only reinforce this belief. 

This is due to a function of the brain called the Reticular Activating System, a bundle of nerves near your brainstem that filters out unnecessary information, so the important stuff gets through.  

Have you ever learned a new word and then started hearing it everywhere?  Or bought a new car and started seeing the same make and model all over town? 

That’s your Reticular Activating System doing its job. 

So it's not that you're wrong about someone not doing their fair share. But thanks to unconscious overclaiming, you might not be as right as you think. 

1 Quote 📜 

In relationships, it's essential to acknowledge and appreciate each other's contributions without falling prey to the trap of overclaiming one's own role.

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1 Question 🤔  

Take a moment to reflect on a professional or personal relationship where you’re putting in more than your fair share and ask yourself: “What’s one small step I can take to assess whether Unconscious Overclaiming is at play?” 

Does this concept resonate with you? Reply to this email and let me know!

See you next Wednesday,

Darin

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