On Becoming a Trampoline Listener

This Week’s Topic: Listening

1 Strategy 🎯 

I consider myself to be an above average listener.

And I’m not alone.

~90% of people rate themselves as “above average” listeners.

Now I invite you to reflect for a moment on the people you’ve had a conversation with in the last 24 hours.

Would you say 90% of those people were above average listeners?

I wouldn’t.

So what’s driving this disconnect between perceived and actual listening skills?

It’s partly due to a lack of clarity around what it means to be a “good” listener.

You might equate effective listening with behaviors like staying silent, nodding your head, and repeating back what you heard.

For me, this style of listening brings to mind the image of a sponge.

Amy Gallo, a world-renowned communications consultant argues that the best listeners aren’t sponges, they’re trampolines.

Trampoline listeners don’t just passively soak up information. They act as a trampoline, boosting the conversation by listening in ways that amplify and energize the ideas of the speaker.

Want to become a trampoline listener?

Here are 3 questions to consider.

Question 1: What is my Default Listening Style?

It’s well-established that people have different styles when it comes to talking.

Similarly, there are different styles for taking in new information.

Which listening style most resonates with you?

• Task Oriented - you’re focused on efficiency and actions

• Analytical - you’re focused on analyzing and solving problems

• Relational - you’re focused on underlying emotions and building connection

• Critical - you’re focused on identifying information gaps and inconsistencies

Question 2: Why do I Need to Listen Right Now?

Different interactions call for different listening styles.

When listening to a team member who has just been fired, a Relational listening style is likely best.

Alternatively, when a salesperson is pitching an expensive software that will revolutionize your business by solving all your team’s problems, a Critical listening style might be better.

Question 3: How Am I getting In My Own Way?

It’s often our own insecurities, biases and expectations that prevent us from being truly effective listeners.

No one can remain 100% neutral when listening. Everything we hear is filtered through our own experiences and worldview and we all bring our own “baggage” to every interaction.

Maybe a topic of conversation triggers a negative emotion in you by reminding you of an unpleasant experience in your career.

Or perhaps your inner dialogue is so focused on crafting a clever response, that you miss out on an important detail.

Whatever your baggage, building your self-awareness is half the battle.

Reply to this email and let me know how it goes! Or better yet, give me a call at (813) 857-1411 so I can practice my listening skills ;)

I look forward to hearing from you.

See you next Wednesday,

Darin

(If you’re new here, feel free to sign up using the subscribe button below)