On the Dark Side of Empathy

This Week’s Topic: Empathy Is Not Enough

1 Idea💡

Empathy nearly got me fired from my very first job.

I was 15 and working a painfully boring part-time gig as a cashier at a grocery store.

On a particularly slow afternoon, a friendly gentleman walk over and struck up a conversation with me.

He was warm, engaging, and instantly easy to talk to. He asked how I liked my job, and I candidly shared how boring it was.

He responded by sharing his own experience working dull jobs when he was a kid, and reminded me that this was a temporary phase of life.

I felt seen and understood, and the conversation oozed empathy.

After 5-10 minutes of friendly chatter, he asked for a favor.

“My washing machine’s busted and I need to go to the laundromat. But all I have is this $100 bill. Can you make change?”

Of course I said yes.

He told me the denominations he needed and, as I handed him the cash, he modified his request.

“Actually, can I get 10’s instead of 20’s?”

Then he changed his request again.

“I forgot the laundromat only takes 5’s. Can I get that in 5’s, 10’s and 20’s?”

I was pretty sure I’d given him the correct change.

That is, until he slid my a 5-dollar bill, winked and walked out of the store.

I promptly counted my register and sure enough he’d conned me out of $40.

The ability to demonstrate empathy is a critical leadership skill.

It’s a superpower used by benevolent leaders and high-performance teams.

It’s also a weapon used by every sociopath and petty conman on the planet.

Empathy is just one rung on a spectrum of pro-social behaviors.  

• Level 1 = Pity😒

  “I feel sorry for you”

  ⬇️

• Level 2 = Sympathy😢

  “I feel for you”

  ⬇️

• Level 3 = Empathy💞

  “I feel with you”

  ⬇️

• Level 4 = Compassion 🤝

  “I am here to help”

While empathy is valuable, it is not the ultimate goal.

The north star for any high performing team is to unlock a culture of compassion.

Compassion goes beyond relating to someone; it involves a genuine commitment to taking action to support them.

Did this week’s topic resonate with you? Hit ‘reply’ and let me know!

See you next Wednesday,

Darin

(If you’re new here, feel free to sign up using the subscribe button below)